11. Shoot the Messenger

An illiberal translation of Catullus XI Catullus 11 J____ and D_____, comrades of your dear Catullus,Every ready to support me,Whether I start fights with IndiansOr pick quarrels with polite Iranians, Or jealous Turks,Fight the sagacious Pakistanis Or romantic Syrians,Whether I refuse to pay the Egyptian for theSeven-headed hookah pipe,Or I argue with the Swiss,Insult the Germans, the … Continue reading 11. Shoot the Messenger

7. Excuse me? How many kisses?

An exaggerated translation of Catullus 7 Just how many kisses would it take to satisfy my insatiable lips? Let me ponder. How many grains of sand are there on the sweaty coast of the Cotes d'Azur, stretching from the tomb of Paul Valéry all the way to St Tropez, where the grils are almost as … Continue reading 7. Excuse me? How many kisses?

5. “Give me a thousand kisses…”

A liberally licentious translation of Catullus V. Come and live and love with me, my darling angel. Let us not care for puritan mouths in endless media scrolls, nor let us spend our beloved lives worrying what unloved harridans have to say for themselves.  The suns will set and rise again. But when once our … Continue reading 5. “Give me a thousand kisses…”

Your bark is louder than your bite

A liberal translation of Catullus 40 Little man, what madness drives you headfirst into my lampoons? Which self-help video has made you press censure upon my voice in an untimely squabble? Is it so you can win hearts and minds? What do you want? Do you seek fame at vanity’s price? Or is some other … Continue reading Your bark is louder than your bite

What is it now?

A liberal translation of Catullus LII What's going on, Ed? Why don't you just kill yourself? While some unknown peach goes mouldy on the Capitol, a Russian doll unfolds on Europe. It's later than you think; why don't you just kill yourself? Quid est, Catulle? quid moraris emori?sella in curuli struma Nonius sedet,per consulatum peierat … Continue reading What is it now?