5. “Give me a thousand kisses…”

A liberally licentious translation of Catullus V.

Come and live and love with me, my darling angel. Let us not care for puritan mouths in endless media scrolls, nor let us spend our beloved lives worrying what unloved harridans have to say for themselves. 

The suns will set and rise again. But when once our bright light has died, there remains one perpetual night to be slept.

So, you know the drill: meet met at that cheap hotel and wear only one piece of clothing – I’ll bring the rest.

Then when we are ready, you will give me one hundred kisses, and I will give you one thousand kisses. Then it will be my turn to give you one hundred kisses to which you will return one thousand more kisses. Then we’ll both give each other one hundred kisses and then one thousand other kisses. Then, when we’ve kisses more times than none have kissed before, we’ll sneak away and destroy the evidence.

You know why? Because too many busybodies are looking for vicarious thrills, and where inquisitive minds linger, trouble awaits. 

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